Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
