I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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