So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
