you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
