Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
no, he came in my armpit
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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