I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
When did angry sex become our thing?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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