How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
