No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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