Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
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She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
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ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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