i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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