We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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