i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
