All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
