At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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