Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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