Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
