a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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