My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
