That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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