It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
