I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
