I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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