May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
