Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
