The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
