4 words: hood of his car
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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