we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Randomize
