well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
