Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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