Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
