xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
