she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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