Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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