spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
