I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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