please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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