so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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