I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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