You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
