oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
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