Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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