Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
