Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
