i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
