Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
