***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
