Soap is not a condiment
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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