Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
