dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
