Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
