she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I just googled if crying burns calories
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
