Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
