and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
