My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Randomize
