strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
so much tequila, so little girl.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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