Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
